Why high-achieving women are doing more than ever…and still feeling behind and burnt out.

A couple of weeks ago, during week 3 of the school holidays, I sat in the corner of a noisy indoor playground, laptop open, trying to edit a coaching client’s Power-Up Plan. In 20 minutes, I was interrupted 25 times by my six-year-old son and his cousin.

Snack requests. Shoe crises. Random hugs. A missing water bottle. Every time I caught a thread of thought, it slipped through again.

I started writing this article at that moment (and let’s be honest, I certainly didn’t finish it in that noisy playground) not because it was ideal, but because it was real. And it captured something that I hear from many high-performing women after keynotes and workshops and in coaching calls.

It’s a truth that high-performing women are quietly experiencing (or should I say ‘enduring’), but rarely acknowledging:

We’re not just working more than ever.
We’ve also intensified parenting into a performance.
And it’s costing us more than time. It’s also costing our wellbeing.

We’re Showing Up More Than Ever… And Still Burning Out

Here’s what the data says:

Working mothers today spend as much or more time with their children than stay-at-home mothers did in the 1970s.

This isn’t just perception: it’s global, longitudinal and consistent across countries:

• In 2020, employed mothers averaged 8.3 hours/day on childcare, while working 6+ hours on the same day (Collins et al., 2022; Brookings).
• In Australia, recent data confirms working mums are spending more time in both direct care and supervision than previous generations (AIFS, 2023).
• Globally, mothers aged 25–34 now average up to 61 hours/week on total care responsibilities, up from previous decades (GEPI, 2025).

So if it feels like you’re doing more than ever, it’s because you are.

We Didn’t Just Get Efficient. We Got Extreme.

We compressed time. And we intensified parenting expectations.

• Playdates are scheduled and optimised.
• Sports are now year-round, performance-focused, and parent-involved. Gone are the days of one sport, one training session and one gala day each year.
• Birthday parties require themes, catering and curated gift bags.

The Mental Load You Can’t See

Here’s what the data misses:

The mental load. That ongoing, invisible project management of your children’s entire lives (a sample of the activities listed above). And now there’s an invisible digital load that often comes too and is often unfairly lumped on mothers.

Today, working women are not just spending time with their kids. They’re tracking dentist appointments, RSVPs, library days, playdates and grocery orders… all while replying to Teams chats that never end and finishing school lunch boxes (that can no longer contain “red/unhealthy” food items or packaged goods).

We’re no longer just spending time with our kids, there’s often now an unspoken expectation that we’ll simultaneously manage (and optimise) their childhood too. It’s a lot!

Somehow, we’ve turned parenting into yet another performance metric. And working mothers have often become the stage managers behind the scenes.

We’re not just coordinating. We’re constantly switching roles, switching contexts and trying to give 100% to everything, all at once. We’re living in a perpetual state of multi-tasking, convinced it’s the only way to “get it all done.”

“We’re praised for our ability to juggle it all, but beneath the applause is exhaustion.”

We’re praised for our ability to juggle it all, but beneath the applause is exhaustion. Behind every colour-coded calendar and seamlessly packed lunch is a woman quietly context-switching a hundred times a day. Holding it all together… while feeling like she’s coming undone.

The problem? Our brains, and our bodies, weren’t built for this way of living. We’re living and working in ways that are at complete odds with our neurobiology, or what I refer to as our Human Operating System (hOS).

Why Constant Multitasking Is Draining You

Last week, I jumped between a speaking briefing call, a coaching client check-in, a grocery run (last minute so no home delivery slots were available) and a school assembly, while answering Slack messages from the carpark.

At one point, I was clapping for my son’s class performance with one hand and mentally replying to a client message that I remembered I hadn’t addressed before I’d left to do the urgent grocery run (a class WhatsApp message reminded me that they needed items for their Science Day the following day).

No one around me batted an eye. Because this kind of juggling act? It’s become completely normal and yet it’s often invisible.

Here’s what’s happening inside your brain when you multitask:

• Every time you switch tasks, your brain releases cortisol, elevating stress and taxing your nervous system.
• You deplete glucose, your brain’s primary fuel source, leading to fatigue.
• Instead of activating your hippocampus (responsible for memory and learning), multitasking shifts activity to your striatum, which is habit-driven and less efficient for long-term retrieval of information. (This might be another reason why many women are experiencing brain fog, in addition to the hormonal shifts that many women experience too.)
• Your brain wasn’t designed to juggle constant inputs and outputs, it was designed to mono-task and recover between efforts. Yet when was the last time you took a proper lunch break… not one where you’re eating your salad with one hand and signing the digital school permission notes with the other?

Modern motherhood has created a life where women are expected to toggle between leadership, lunchboxes, logistics, and love without breaking down.

“Modern motherhood has created a life where women are expected to toggle between leadership, lunchboxes, logistics, and love without breaking down.”

We’re running our human operating system on apps it was never designed to support.

We’ve become experts at being everywhere at once. But we’ve lost the skill of being here, fully. I see the working parents at swimming lessons, triaging their emails, or sitting at football training on a work call.

So What’s the Answer?

We don’t need more hacks.
We need new definitions of success. New metrics of success in this season of life.
What if “enough” looked like:

• Being fully present for fewer things
• Letting your kids (and yourself) experience boredom, where creativity and ideation take place
• Prioritising friendship and fun, not sacrificing them to be “productive”.

Model a version of success where motherhood doesn’t erase or exhaust you.

Three Small Things You Can Try This Week

1. Be Where Your Feet Are
My Mum often reminds me to, “Be where your feet are, Kristy.” Try to find pockets of time where you can be truly present. No toggling. No multitasking. Just presence, both physically and psychologically.

2. Embrace Boredom
Find pockets of time with no schedule, no screens and no structure. Notice what unfolds for you and your kids.

3. Do a Fun and Friendship Audit
What do you do for you that brings you fun and adult friendship? Warning- this question often stumps my female coaching clients, so it may challenge you too.

You’re Not Failing

These stats don’t prove you’re failing. They prove modern women are deeply devoted… but depleted.

We’re operating in systems where we work and then motherhood (and/or caring or domestic responsibilities) consumes everything else.

The most radical shift isn’t doing more. It’s not about doing a stress management course, or finding a better productivity system.

It’s choosing what matters most and letting the rest be good enough. My wise friend often says, ”Prioritise the potent things in life.”

Your Turn

Drop a comment or share this with a mum who needs to hear it:

You don’t need to do more. You just need more space to be you.
If you’re ready to redefine success without self-sacrifice, I offer keynotes and executive coaching that share the science behind sustainable peak-performance in our always-on, digitally-demanding world. Reach out to Emma from Tier One Management if you’re interested in learning more about my speaking services, or you can read more about my coaching services here.